We tend to stereotype victims as grisly headlines, self-destructive women, damaged goods. The question, “Why does she stay?” is code for some people for, “It’s her fault for staying,” as if victims intentionally choose to fall in love with men intent upon destroying us. But since publishing “Crazy Love,” I have heard hundreds of stories from men and women who also got out.
who learned an invaluable life lesson from what happened, and who rebuilt lives — joyous, happy lives — as employees, wives and mothers, lives completely free of violence, like me. Because it turns out that I’m actually a very typical Tucson domestic violence lawyer victim and a typical domestic violence survivor. I remarried a kind and gentle man, and we have those three kids. I have that black lab, and I have that minivan. What I will never have again, ever, is a loaded gun held to my head.
By someone who says that he loves me. Right now, maybe you’re thinking, “Wow, this is fascinating or Wow, how stupid was she but this whole time, I’ve actually been talking about you. I promise you there are several people listening to me right now who are currently being abused or who were abused as children or who are abusers themselves. Abuse could be affecting your daughter, your sister, your best friend right now. I was able to end my own crazy love story by breaking the silence.
I’m still breaking the silence today. It’s my way of helping other victims, and it’s my final request of you. Talk about what you heard here. Abuse thrives only in silence. You have the power to end domestic violence simply by shining a spotlight on it. We victims need everyone. We need every one of you to understand the secrets of domestic violence. Show abuse the light of day by talking about it with your children, your coworkers, your friends and family.